Growing up I was always bigger than the other girls, it did bother me and I always thought, "If I lose weight or get skinny, Ill be happier, people will think I'm pretty or want to date me." I envied the skinny girls a little, but never did anything to change my way of how I thought about my body or even attempt to be healthy. I played softball for 7 years and was active but ate horribly.
Once I went to college, it got worse. You start eating out, drinking, your habits and lifestyle changes quite drastically and I think I just ate to comfort myself. I definitely was living my best life and not caring what I ate, how much sleep I got or how much alcohol I was drinking on a daily basis whatsoever. I was happy and smiling on the outside, but on the inside was a whole other story(What Makes you Happy?)
You can read about all of that in that post there.
I knew comparing myself to anyone other than myself was not healthy and was not going to get me the body or the happiness I wanted in life but I just continued to focus on the negative or push it all away so I wouldn't have to deal with it.
(Photos range from 2007-2013) Scroll down for more...
Fast Forward to 2014!
This is when I figured out that if I run, it clears my head and makes me feel so much better-Hellllooo Endorphins!
I still did not really understand the concept of a healthy lifestyle. I ran, but still ate awful, still drank way more than I should have plus a ton of stress on top of it all.
I still felt there was something missing but I continued to run and eat a healthy meal here and there when I decided to.
I moved to Rhode Island at the end of the summer in 2014 and being away from my family was hard. I had friends who I stayed close with and went out with all the time, so the drinking continued and I would drive to Maine to see my family and my niece.
I had an old co-worker friend reaching out every once in a while to get me to get Herbalife, and I said no a thousand times and then one day the word "YES" Ill try it just came right out of my mouth before I could even think about it. I had finally signed up for a gym membership but still had no clue what I was doing. I so desperately wanted to change and be healthy and my friend reaching out was just the thing I needed, I just didn't know it yet...
Stay tuned for a continuation of my journey later this week!
xo Ash
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